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Strange To Be

by Avon Repus

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1.
i feel a lot better, i feel more whole i think i'm growing up to be someone who learns from what they've known i feel heavier, it takes more roam i think a price for knowing where to turn's those failures from before got a moment? a gaze to share i've a boon to share my care with others it keeps me rambling on hey, isn't it beautiful? i'm enamored at the sentience we have hey, where are you going? why'd you abuse the given power of your head i get it you're insecure: but succumb tot those whims and you'll find you've bred eternal fear hey, it's fine to cry now recognize the pain and missing years you're okay, you'll survive now but never forget how the mind plays tricks on you
2.
I'm not a god- I am a daughter. blood is silly, it mixes just as he breeds his cattle but i'm a witch and with that comes trained distance, I have learned I'm not a god- I am immortal, the sun will never burn my skin i have a brother, much younger than me i had some loves too, but i had to let them leave you're not a century and you think you've known pain have you a child? have you lost your right to leave, yet: trekked a rolling sea ripe with hoards of enemies, lives i have cost, and land i'll never see i've ate whole ships for sport, turned a man to a god- what makes you think that you deserve the life you live upon? fear me, Circe, the pitiful witch of Aeaea a lonely old bitch with only the lions to keep her warm
3.
4.
a gas station amongst five miles of open sand you're asleep, i leave you alone with the key and go in they're out of your favorite, i buy a different brand instead 30 dollars on number 9 is that all? i say yes no- it isn't number 9 it's not there? i retire to the hot and burning floor how this reminds me of an incident before this time, it's not cold, it's warm and I am Scared
5.
he's a sinner of the ugliest degree he's a cross upon his forehead i think he's upset with me went to church last week looked no one in the eye i fear his muck will travel through them and i'm not for a death tonight PREPARE FOR ARMAGEDDON! little twisted things like dead ends in the dark leave me to see that heaven and hell are right here where we are not a shame, i like the blankness of it all when i am slaughtered, i hope i encompass the void of the stars DO YOU THINK THEY'LL EVER FORGIVE ME? for creating, in itself, is a form of destruction disrupting the setting of what it was but never mind the temporal states of what and why we'll need to focus on the man in the doorway Apollo can't hurt me no more I'm far more far above him I'm in hell, and he's in heaven I mean to say we're in his bedroom
6.
so we were there for three hours i managed my god of war down to a bite alas, a cloud of uncertainty waved over the moon and the sun and the night sky he's know i'm afraid of libel he knows i could win in a fight so why oh why i'm falling to again i've got a chemical flow that chills me to my bones oh no, did you forget? i'll take him any night, but i've no strength of mind take me on a date i'll try not to cry when we end it and by it- you know i mean our lives
7.
Hum's Folly 02:29
Oh my dear Lo- my Love- you have nowhere else to go, and you don't know. You don't know how well I know the smell of your hair after seven days of fender and no bath. Noon twenty five. I sit at the park bench watching the does swing by. Pardon me, mother, do you know the time? Oh, my little darling gets out soon! I am to confess, we are the only ones who understand the inept abhorrence of the world we're in. God forgive me! God forgive us! Lend me your hand. I do the devil's work, but I must heave. You are running out of time! I will not run out of time, and ensure that I do end up with what is mine. I've stolen a painting and hidden it in plain sight. No ones bats an eye to a folly creature of his own kind. A starlet yet, and the hair match. An intrinsic beauty and an eye to catch. There is a demon that is growing inside her. I don't care to know the name. I already am sure- -that we are the only ones who understand the inept abhorrence of the world we're in. God forgive me, oh, God forgive me! Lend hand I do the devil's work, but I must heave, you have run out of time. You have run out of time. Any no matter what you are, what you have become, you will forever be my dear Lo.
8.
I’ve been on the edge a while Of some empty void, mind numbing I think I’d like to jump in I think it would be calming I’ve come to terms with its existence next to mine It does not impede It simply aims to revitalize I’m teetering on the edge of tomorrow I’m alright Just have some contracts with the stars And they’re here too- they can’t do much, though I think I’ll have to muddle through Chaos brewed the state of our mortality That I cannot forgive Us bright angels to the slaughter Artemis’s laughing from seat up on the moon What has she learned from watching? Are we all so afraid? I’m teetering on the edge of tomorrow I’m alright Just have some contracts with the stars And they’re here too- they can’t do much, though I think I’ll have to muddle through I guess that’s what I’m gonna do
9.
i have called you children i have called you son what is there to answer, if i'm the only one? morning comes [redacted] morning comes in light still i must obey still i might invite if there's anything to say if there's anything to do if there's any other way i'll do anything for you. i was dressed embarrassment i was dressed in wine [redacted] a part of me will you give your time even if i come back even if i die is there some idea to replace my life like a [redacted] if there's anything...
10.
hehe X5
11.
12.

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she's screaming alright

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released March 18, 2020

would you look at that? we have some R- some V- even some N!

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